I was in the fourth grade when I had my first identifiable sexual feelings. I didn't call them sexual feelings then. Actually, when I begged God's forgiveness that night (because I was certain that anything that felt good was bad) I remember describing it as "a tingling in the bottom of my stomach, like the time I broke into the elementary school - bad and wonderful at the same time." I wasn't a juvenile delinquent or anything just a kid who was easily influenced by my peers. Four of us broke into the elementary school and our vandalism was to write (in easily erasable chalk) "Zorro was here!" on several classroom chalk boards. Fear, tingling, sexual - whatever I was feeling I liked it. It was 1962. My sister and her friends were giggling about a packet that had come in the mail from the Fabian Fan Club. They were getting ready for my Mother to drive them to the Fernwood Country Club to swim and sun - mostly sun bathe.